Current mood:

blank

Progression or...
Have you ever just sat down and began to think about your past, about what you use to do and the life you use to live. Most people can recall having the same as I have been feeling for the past several weeks. It's been over a year since the last time I had complete control over my life. I was able to say no to things that were bad for me, and I was able to educate myself and always have an answer for questions that people asked me.

I was growing.

A year later, after being in the most fitting lifestyle that I had ever been in, I was healthy, my mind was right and everything was utopian. I'm now at the point in my life where I realize I had made a great mistake with my career choice. I guess by choice I gave up on what was hiding behind where I thought I was. I do think my previous point in life was geniune, however before I made this choice that I'm living with I could have taken a step back and looked at what I had accomplished and went toward the path that I've originally been destined to.

Where am I at right now is something that runs though my mind eveytime I'm not doing something. I'm a slave, I'm no body, and I have no one except for myself. Being given the chance to shift your life from it being difficult but rewarding to just being tedious and exhausting, and realizing you had complete control over the outcome is what makes it the worst.

I could have had relationships, I could have had education, I could have had gone through with all of the things I wanted to while I was still young.

But now I must wait until I'm old, and how do you fix that when you're in the position that I'm in? I'm still trying to come up with that answer.